What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Have you ever been spanked in front of a group of people?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Guest column | Field notes from the end of life: My thoughts on living while dying - The Washington Post

Make Nazis afraid again!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why do women stubbornly refuse to let men lead, even though they are attracted to the man, and the man both loves and desires them? Why do they get angry and blame the man when he gets fed up and walks away, when it's entirely their own fault?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Have you ever answered your door in lingerie?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What factors contributed to Taiwan's economic success compared to Mainland China, despite their close proximity?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why do some people have loving parents and some do not?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What causes tension between liberals and conservatives? Is it purely based on ideological differences or are there other factors at play?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

When does a woman know she is cumming?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Which type of physical cable has fastest transmission speed?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

TEXT:

How do I find a transgender girlfriend?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why do I keep dreaming of my mom, who recently passed away from cancer, still being sick and in pain?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.